Saturday, November 27, 2010

"Cancer? I hardly knew her!"

There are many things in this world that are bad for your health. It seems like some of these viruses, infections and diseases come and go like teenage fads. one minute its west-nile and the next its the swine flu.

Ill be the first to admit that I'm not the healthiest person out there, in fact I'm probably one of the worst, and I love it. One thing Ive been known to do, as many people around the world do, is smoke. Yes yes I know exactly what your thinking, 'its bad for you', 'its an addiction', 'a bad habit', 'disgusting' all of these have been used to describe smoking but the one that I get the most is 'it causes cancer!'.

My usual reply to the whole cancer thing is 'what in this day and age doesn't cause cancer'? But i soon realized that wasn't the right question, the question is, 'what are does cause cancer'? So that's what I did, I looked into it and did some research and found a fairly comprehensive list of things that can actually cause cancer, and you wouldn't believe what I found!

Mostly i found a bunch of chemicals that I have very little clue what they are but as I read I found some very interesting everyday things we consume that can give us the big 'C', things such as:
alcohol
air pollution
arsenic
asbestos
asphalt fumes
baby food
barbecued meat
birth control pills
bottled water
bread
breasts
brooms
bus stations
candles
casual sex
car fumes
celery
charred foods
cooked foods
chewing gum
Chinese food
chips
coffee
crackers
dairy products
diet soda
winter
well water
toasters
The list goes on really, so long I have the link at the bottom of the post just so you can go do your little check on it yourself.

Now to the point Ive set out to make: LEAVE ME ALONE ABOUT SMOKING AND CANCER. I'm well aware of the affects of smoking but NEWS FLASH: I DO NOT CARE!! If I was going to quit smoking for the sole purpose of cancer then I would have to quit a lot of things and by a lot I mean A LOT and many of these things I'm not so sure I'm willing to quit, such as gingerbread or salt and I'm surely not quitting breasts and chips.....you can just forget that right now. The fact of the matter is, like most smokers, i enjoy smoking much like many people enjoy many of the things on this list. Even the polio vaccine can cause cancer for goodness sake!!!so take your pick: polio or cancer? I'm not sure about you but I'm fairly glad not to have polio and I'm not saying that cancer is a better option, I'm just saying that smoking isn't the only thing that causes cancer, contrary to what public access television will tell you.

Its time for some of these health fanatics to get off their vegetarian high horse because veggies cause cancer too!!! Its not even about smoking anymore, this is about judgement!! People judging each other by their bad habits, but I know for a fact that if I started pulling every ones skeletons out of their respective closets this would be one heck of a more humble and understanding world.

And I'm sure that i can guess at what some of my readers who know me personally will say, they'll say how much Ive changed and how i don't care about doing "whats right" and those are the same people, so full of judgement hiding be hind a veil of humble pie pretending that they re not arrogant. when in reality they've alienated anyone who ever was willing to lend an open mind to their demons and accept them for who they truly are, even my readers who don't know me I'm sure that if your not this person you have a friend like this and if you were to post what Ive posted here your phone and your facebook or myspace would all be flooded with whiny calls and messages asking if they were the one you were talking about.

The moral of the story is: get past all the things about people that you don't approve of and make sure you re willing to give up as much as they are to save a friendship, OR I could just shove by foot so far up your rectal cavity ill be training TSA agents.


Friday, November 12, 2010

"Piggy Bank"

OK peeps, remember waaaaay back on my VERY FIRST blog, when i said id be making dead baby seal jokes as much as possible?? Well this isn't one of them, ITS EVEN BETTER!!!! I have found a site that sells piggy banks...real ones, made from REAL PIGLETS!!!!! HOW FREAKING AWESOME IS THAT?!?! I want one so bad that i'm willing to go club a piglet to death right now! no joke there at all, I have a nice aluminum baseball bat with the phrase "hippy punk slap" written in magic marker on it saved specifically for occasions like this.
in the companies defense, they aren't killing piglets just to make these awesomely creepy money savers, they only use piglets that have died of natural causes ( how disappointing), but thats not quelling the hippy outrage.
these things aren't cheap either, they cost $4,000!!!! and take about a year to make, but the wait is well worth it if you love bacon that much :D